It's been almost a month since I've posted here. I have a lot of excuses, but they don't matter because either way I am dropping my own ball.
I have been keeping up over at survivalroad.net so at least one thing is getting done on a regular basis.
Which brings me to here and now....WOW.
I shared on yesterday's podcast that we had a blizzard and I learned some things from it - mostly that just because you prepare, doesn't mean you are prepared.
Today I am here to share that just because you do the work of survival doesn't mean you won't have to do it all over again because here on the cow farm, everything I did yesterday is now undone.... the snow is just a bit too deep and too much for me this time.
Here is during the first dump before it ended, you can almost see the snow falling.
Two days later the sun did come out for a while and over night some of the snow lost its oomph and wasn't quite as deep - sorry I just didn't take picture on the worst day scenario...
After taking these pictures when it warmed up a bit - apparently if it is too cold the diesel tractor won't start....
I got the tractor going and plowed the road. Don't ask me why, I didn't take done pictures of that either.
But I couldn't get my car out and when I lifted the hood to listen why it was making weird noises, the entire engine was covered in snow. That can't be good.
I tried digging out, I only made it worse so I gave up to deal with it this morning.
And this is what it looks like now outside...
Plus, more snow is on the way....
And as you can't really see - all the work I did plowing, GONE.
The big issue is the old tractor is really old and who knows if it will start, keep running, or make it all the way back again?
It's a bit nerve racking, not to mention the slipping and sliding in the monster machine that is too big to get towed if I do crash into the ditch...
I did this really scary u-turn in the middle of the highway yesterday... the gods were with me on that let me tell you!
I didn't take a picture of that either... I know, I am not really doing a very good job with all this some days.
Freedom though, while desperate to run, is doing better than all of us. His patience is amazing as our ability to walk is very much on the not very far road right now.
To sum up this part, someone sent me this today that says it better than I can:
But here is the root of what I wanted to share today. Some days, survival SUCKS.
As if it isn't bad enough that the cows are confined and the baby cow is cold, though still spunky!
And the snow endless and the car stuck and the amount of effort to just get a few feet without falling down (which i did at one point), deal with bales of hay, break up ice for the cows to get water.... I could go on you get the point.
It's the end of the year and I've been reading what others have accomplished this last year and all I can think is - how? Where do they get their energy and focus?
It makes me feel inadequate. I get tired before I get done with the duties of survival, how am I supposed to do more?
Then I remember I don't have a wife or a personal assistant to help me out - so I only feel slightly less inadequate.
Which only takes me so far when I have to devote yet another day to the basics of survival because if I don't find a way out of here by tomorrow - I am out of drinking water.
Yes, I can melt snow - but I've done that, it takes FOREVER.
I am in whine mode and I am posting this because I would venture to guess there are others out there like me who don't get amazing amounts of work done, have endless energy, feel inadequate and overwhelmed, and on some days have large pity parties.
And still have to suck it up and do the basics of getting through the day - from going to work to finding some way to get enough water to drink and do dishes.
On the other hand, yesterday's podcast and post were on choosing to acknowledge what you can appreciate about your life.
But sometimes you need to whine first so you can let it go, put the seven layers of clothes BACK on, pick up the shovel, and just begin again.
Which I will be doing. Soon. Maybe. Okay, later....