Yesterday was a bad day. I've been thinking about what is next and the usual M.O. for me is to shut down, run, and start over.
I still will do parts of that. What I think might be more helpful is to not undo what I've done in the process, rather keep documenting it.
I've said from the beginning this journey for me has been a walk in faith with God. Mostly it has just been a lot of hard walking.
I was looking at this photo the other day, the ideas I had before I ever left home.
The story is too long for here and now, but the essence is I was still full of hope and possibility.
But yesterday, the last bastion of sorts fell.
Not only is my world ready to burn down, but in a whole lot of other places too. Rome burned for a reason. It's the only way anything could rise from the ashes.
Whether real or metaphoric, fire is both destructive and life giving. Just not at the same time.
When I look at the pictures and words now I see loss, not hope.
And that is what a journey is - both. Neither is a reason to stop moving forward, both are a reason to keep moving.
I don't know what is next or where I will go or how I will get there or what I will do - but the one thing I will do differently, at least I hope so and will try to, is not burn this site, podcast, and blog down too...though I am tempted.
This is what a real journey looks like - not the kind you read in books or see in the movies. Some days are good. Some days are bad. And some days suck in ways you didn't even know they could.
My tiny trailer and truck are not up for driving away today. But in my mind and heart I already have. Stay tuned to see where the journey takes us next.