Today the wind is blowing - again. When it blows relentlessly like this me and the dog and cat are trapped inside except for basic exercise and bladder relief (his not mine).
But it gets tiring. The noise. The shaking of the trailer. The struggle to do basics like fill up water bottles or even open a door. The cold that is a 100 times worse with the wind.
Then, I read this: http://www.redbull.com/us/en/adventure/stories/1331627761530/explorers-battle-antarctic-cold or you can find the whole story here: http://scottexpedition.com/
You can see a bit in the first few seconds of this video:
And while I'm not in Antartica or dragging that much weight behind me - what is very familiar is the cold, the wind, and the leaning into it so I can keep going forward. Oh, and I get the benefit of dirt and debris in my nose, mouth, and eyes.
And here it all goes wrong. They are in much more deprivation like conditions. But they are temporary. They get airlift support for food and medical emergencies. They have corporate sponsors giving them money, gear, back up, and whatever else they need to accomplish their goals.
This isn't survival. It's the illusion of an adventure because if things go wrong someone will come when they call. Yes they can die, but so can you if you fall in your bathtub or decide to drive today.
Some of us don't have that. When you are tired and cold and hungry and wildly irritated by the elements and the only way out is to keep moving forward until things get better. If you don't, you die. No one is coming to save you. Trust me. That is survival.
You don't have to travel to one of the poles to find a very bleak horizon. Some of us just look outside.
Okay, I am grumpy and discouraged today. But I am also invigorated. I am getting clear on the real reason I am on this journey and it is not to travel in the footsteps of anyone who has gone before me - even Captain Scott of the Scott Expedition over a hundred years ago.
And it is not to test my post-apocalyptic skill set. And it is really not to run away from what I am afraid of. It might have started with a bit of all that, but things didn't turn out that way.
I am looking at new horizons and they are not bleak. Yes, days like today are hard. And as I was telling a friend, the cold is getting old. And truthfully, I've been hungry most of the last three years because living this way is really hard to eat the way we all do when life was "normal."
And while there is no airlift on its way to drop me a load of food - sadly! - I have the knowing that I can survive and endure and grow and learn and find meaning and beauty and strength from all of this.
Though, I sure wouldn't mind a few sponsors - but I've got a plan for that too! I think 2014 is going to be awesome. Now, if the freakin' wind would just stop blowing!
Welcome to my Journey!
I'm inviting you to join me on my journey as I seek to find a new way of being in an old set of systems. It's hard, but worth it!