There has been a shift in the air. The weather is turning cold. The winds have decided to return. And I am no longer plotting my next move. I hate to write this out loud and jinx it - but it finally feels like I can plan on staying here a while. Okay, so don't say anything when my next post is I have to move, again...
It's been hard to know what to share and not share. The honest version is, I've felt a little embaressed by how crazy it has all been. And, much of the time everything was so boring and mundane there just wasn't much to write about. This journey for me has been an internal one and so the external manifestations have not been a very great witness to my progress...
But that kind of thinking assumes what anyone else thinks but me has value - and in the end, it doesn't. We miss a lot of life when we make decisions based on what others will think about us. Freedom is my goal and to have that I can't factor in anything but my own perpective.
There is so much more good than bad. This journey has been way harder than I ever could imagine and if I would do it over? I'd say yes, but much differently.
This morning I saw the start of the rainbow you see above. It is directly over the town of Mountainair here in New Mexico and it sums up about where I am. At the beginning of what feels like for now, the end of a rainbow, but also its beginning.
I wish I could share with you just how big the sky is here! This morning it is filled with clouds and what you see above is the small patch of blue that is still visible as Freedom and I walked this morning.
There are so many different ways to live and when I left California in search of the right one for me, I wasn't sure what it was going to be. Truthfully, I still don't know. My mom would tell me growing up and much beyond, I was just learning more about what I didn't want. Ain't that the truth!
But that is the journey of life - what kind of life do you want to live? The one you should? Or the one you want? You may never find the perfect fit for what you think you want, but I've come to learn the grander plan will take over and teach, show, and find for you what you need. Even when that place is a real trailer park in west Texas.
I don't know what is next and I am both very excited and totally terrified 'cause truthfully - I'm still living way too far out on the ledge for any level of comfort. But so far "life" has provided in one way or another and we are all still safe and sheltered.
I didn't plan the picture above, but the idea of "Freedom Road" has long been with me as I've traveled the road in search of freedom and now with a dog named Freedom - and there he is, on the road!
What I do know is I want to be better at taking you with me on this journey. While living it kinda sucks a lot of the time, if I wasn't I sure would find it a whole lot more interesting!
Hopefully someday soon I will be able to get the camera's and equipment I need to really capture the landscape - but for now I will do what I can to share it one picture and video and word at a time! See you soon here in the center of New Mexico!
Welcome to my Journey!
I'm inviting you to join me on my journey as I seek to find a new way of being in an old set of systems. It's hard, but worth it!