 As 2012 comes to a close and we are all still here, I wonder what this new year will bring? There was no overt spiritual awakening, but there surely has been a slow burn awakening that it is my hope will pick up speed as we move forward.
One of the things I have witnessed within this world is the more in fear we get, the more defensive and self-centered we get. We are seeing that with the gun battle, job shortages, and house foreclosures. The less safe we feel and the less security we believe we have in this world, the more we circle our wagon and the world gets a lot smaller. It becomes more about the "me" and less about the real...which is all of us. The greatest awakening any one can have is the last one, that there is no me and only a we. None of us can make it all alone. The survivalist who thinks they are going to hunker down and defend their enemies won't last. The prepper who thinks that with enough stuff they will be fine will learn that stuff doesn't end loneliness or carry water when we are too hurt to walk. The urban dweller with their techno lives and the older generation in their homes with their TV's turned on will be lost if the electricity ever goes out. And the seeker of fame and publicity at any cost will discover the worthlessness that without basic skills of finding food and keeping warm results in they and their children suffering. But all of these are lessons we are here to learn, not ones we came here with knowledge of. Life is not meant to start perfect, but to begin imperfect so that we learn what we really want and then how to get it. There's just a lot of wanting and getting that isn't of the heart, but rather of the body and its fear. But where does that really get you that you want to go? Below is a wonderful talk by Joel Osteen and worth every one of the 30 minutes. It is important to put inspiration into your life to calm your fears, lesson your defenses, and open your heart to others...and not for what they can do for you, but rather what you can do for them.
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 I have been reminded recently that there is a vast difference between the ideas of want and need. What we want is often a list that can go on forever. What we need is a lot simpler.
It is easy to get lost in the pain of not getting what we want. It is even more painful when we confuse want with need. Want equals lack and in lack is the basis of suffering. It is good to want, but not at the expense of missing out on what we have and the gratitude for all that we need that is in our lives today. One of the greatest gifts of my daring adventure has been this sorting out of want vs. need. The lack has created a bit of suffering along the way, but it has also served a greater need. That need to be more compassionate, more caring, and more grateful for what I do have now. I am repeatedly blessed by others who often have little if any more than I do. I have been even more blessed to be able to give to those who have less than I do right now. And one of the things that so many need is the simple gift of dignity especially to those who do not have what they need or want. There is a misconception that adventure is about excitement and travel more than an every day life. But what greater gift could we get than the chance to explore how others live and share in their experience as it enriches our own? You can't have a daring adventure if you don't understand want vs. need. You won't have a meaningful adventure if you don't understand the power of giving and receiving. We all won't take daring adventures, but we all need them at some point in our lives - to grow, expand, mature, and most importantly to want less of what we don 't need and need more of what we do - love, dignity, joy, freedom, and liberty - just to name a few!  My goal was to post yesterday - but here's the thing, when real life starts my desire to be in the virtual world stops. Yesterday was one of those challenging type of days you can't really "prepare" for but have no way to avoid when they happen. It's cold here. Not as cold as some places, but who cares when it's you, right? The problem isn't just physical discomfort - but having to then deal with the issues that cold bring about when living in a tiny trailer that is drafty and not very well insulated (yes I know it could be fixed, but it's not an easy fix). No water was the first issue. So I found some water, decided to then do dishes which have piled up because of no water - only to then clog up my drain pipe because the water froze. While all this was happening I kept thinking - take pictures, make a video - but I can't do two things at once it seems! Kudos to you who can! So, instead, I spent all day trying to get the frozen water unstuck so I didn't have to deal with an exploded drain pipe today! When the temp doesn't allow for any thawing...well, you've got to be creative. Here's what I learned: 1. When water is scarce, buy food you don't have to cook or that makes for a lot of dishes. 2. It is important to understand the principles behind water freezing in pipes or you can make things worse. 3. The water gets stuck in the elbows of pipes. 4. When it's cold it's not just me that gets grumpy. 5. Get creative, hair dryers, reverse water pressure from the other end of the drain, salt, and prayer. 6. That four frustrating hours of water collection and drainage effort almost goes away when that first gurgle of drainage happens and clean dishes are possible! Truthfully, it wasn't until I started praying I heard the first gurgle of the water moving - but I am sure everything else I did to prepare the way helped. Turned into a life lesson of sorts it seems! Here's how Lilith feels about SNOW!  This morning most of you are scrambling to create the best Christmas you can for your families and friends. Last minute shopping, cooking, cleaning, and packing. So much bustle and hustle to get to the holiday moment!
Not me. Most look at me and feel sorry for me, but I get to do exactly what makes sense to me - and that is not very festive by most standards! But, it is what matter to me and that is what counts? Maybe, depends on who you ask! I've been way out of sync with the world for a very long time but with that said, this morning this popped into my head. I've been thinking about social media, the internet, and the amount of information that is available - everyone talking and sharing more, louder, and with more effort. It is exhausting, but also very congesting and confusing. I doubt hustle or more noise is what God had in mind when the idea of the holidays or the internet came about....but it is easy to get swept away by the crowd. So what do I mean by my statement? Simply, do you live your life in search of who you are as a question? Or, do you live knowing who you are, as a period. One offers us doubt and uncertainty, the other clarity and certainty. It is not a question we get to answer in a moment, but it is the question we are all seeking to answer in a lifetime, or two, three, thousand... I want to wish all a happy holiday and hope you find some peace amidst the chaos. Uncertainty says it is somewhere else - another time, another place, with another version of your life. Certainty says it is here, now, and exactly as it is meant to be. (that would be said out loud, Period!) Love, Jill  Well, so far we're all here and we're all okay - well, still unbearably cold this morning, but the sun is doing its best to warm things up!
One of the meanings of today is that we are all lined up with the galactic center of our galaxy - said to be a black hole. But, depending on how you view things it is also said to be the mother source of our galaxy, with intelligence and wisdom emanating from it With that idea in mind, what if today being the most powerful day of alignments and celestial connections you could grant as many miracles as you wanted, what would they be? I decided to make a list and I invite you to do the same!
What is your list? Let's all just make one and then release it back to the center of the galaxy, the source of all life, or the god of our choice to bring it forth - because when each of us wins, we all win!!!  Yesterday was true west Texas!!! In the video below you can see what I mean...dust, dust, and more dust! Lilith does the best. I get pretty freaked out with the 70mph wind gusts. The internet says it's more like 80mph+ when trailers start to flip....I just wished I weighed more, how often can us girls say that and mean it! Today is cold, but all clear....yea! Hope you enjoy my wild ride! I love to be both entertained, inspired, and emotionally opened by movies. Even more so when it's dark and cold outside! Here's a glimpse: Good luck a teenager gets things, but she is inspiring to all of us to look at our lives and find our own voice, our own golden key, and how we can focus on blessing more than focusing on getting. Just in time for Christmas!
 I've been thinking lately about how this all started and how it also got lost somewhere along the way. The original dream came to me about this time of year two years ago. I remember how excited and clear I was....the emphasis being on the was!
I also recently got an email from a young man ready to embark on his own adventure and as I told him the adventure at some point begins to take you on its own journey, I am reminded how somewhere I got derailed from my own dream, the beginning dream. I don't know if I'll find my way back to that original idea, the beginning dream, but I do remember how good it felt to have one. Today's podcast for my stopping soldier suicide website (standingnotfallen.org) I talked about that exact thing. Sometimes you've got to just start and then hold on to the big dream to motivate you to take all the small steps you need to just get started. It's a new year coming, it's a new age, and so maybe it's time for a new dream to get me through all these small steps I seem to be stuck in right now. We will see!  My intention is to post daily. It is also to be uplifting and not a downer. I am in conflict as I am really cold and really crabby....and wondering what I was thinking coming to Lubbock, Texas? See that picture - that is here and dirt is everywhere but on the ground... and inside everything including my dog and cat's ears which much to their dismay I've taken to cleaning out often so with that said, I was also sent this video below today. This is what I want to capture and share....no dirt, just good stuff unsaid.  Talk to the Paw - but I just can't help my self! You may get tired of my two favorite friends, but this series the other day it was so cold was just too cute!!! Hop you enjoy at least as half as much as I do! Oh, and sorry for no post yesterday, didn't feel well and upright was off the table! |
Welcome to my Journey!I'm inviting you to join me on my journey as I seek to find a new way of being in an old set of systems. It's hard, but worth it! 
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